Smoke Alarms Do Queer Things to a Goat

So, I've hunkered down in this human's apartment for the cold season. It makes for awkward roaming and grazing but beats sleeping in frozen dung.

I can tell you this without a doubt: a goat should not be left unsupervised in the kitchen -- the living room, fine; the front parlour, if I have to; the bedroom, now you're talkin, but, NOT under any circumstances the kitchen!! how am I supposed to know food has to be watched when it cooks? I don't watch the flippin grass grow!

Uh...well...I do. But that isn't the point.

Cook for your goat.